3 min read

Dealing with Mom Guilt

A personal note from me...

I have struggled with my share of mom guilt. I felt guilty when I wasn't able to slow down during my pregnancy. I was the one who decided to leave her dad when she was 6 days old. I felt guilty that I had to work throughout her life, taking her with me everywhere. I felt guilty that I used the ipad as a baby sitter way too often.

I've clung to the knowledge that I was raised by a busy working mom and I thrived from it and for it (and in spite of it). I know that my daughter has seen a great work ethic - I haven’t given her a false idea about how easy life might be. I have showed her that her efforts count, her values matter and she is capable of anything. And that she doesn't need a man "prince charming" to rescue her.

She can rescue herself....

-----

Do you ever feel guilty when it comes to your children? You're not alone. Mom guilt is a feeling that many parents experience that they aren't doing enough for their children.

Mom guild is a nagging sensation that you're not doing enough as a parent, that you're not doing things correctly, or that you're making mistakes that will "mess up" your children in the long term.

It may strike at any moment, but some frequent causes include returning to work after maternity or paternity leave, balancing home obligations with parental responsibilities, and coping with unwelcome criticism of your parenting choices. These feelings may be temporary, and you can let go of them if you wish to. We have discussed some strategies that you can use and get rid of mom guilt.

Identifying the Reasons of having Mom Guilt

Investigate the actual causes of your guilt, which may date back to your childhood. The degree of your mom's guilt might depend on your experiences, job, mental health, perceptions, etc.

Try writing or jotting a brief note on your phone when you're feeling pangs of parent guilt, and patterns may emerge over time. It's easy to keep an eye out for these triggers after you've identified the regions that are producing the discomfort.

Set Aside your Expectations

You must let go of your ideas of motherhood, as well as your preconceptions of what support or assistance looks like. Social media might get you thinking that you are not parenting as you should. Don't let that take over your thoughts.

Remind yourself that simply while you have your sleep or feeding preferences, you should give your spouse or support person the freedom to develop their rhythm and routine.

Minimizing Responsibilities

If you have a partner, ask them to help you help with duties that aren't already on their to-do list so you can get some "me" time. If you're a single parent, find a group of other single moms with whom you can share babysitting tasks or a sympathetic cup of coffee while your kids run about.

Find the Way of Parenting that suits you

Nobody understands how hard it is to parent - until you are a parent. Sure, there are a lot of books out there with guidance, but I recommend figuring out what works best for your family. Your children, like you, have their distinct personalities. What works for one family may be disastrous for another. Allow yourself to be kind while you consider the best possibilities for you and your children.

Getting Professional Assistance

If you keep your mom guilt to yourself, it may feel incredibly lonely and lead to even more mental health issues, so it's critical to seek help if you're feeling overwhelmed. Speak with an expert. You may also connect with other moms online through social media and discover how others have overcome their mom guilt.

We could reach the end of parenthood and discover we've lost out on so many precious times fretting about what we're doing wrong. So love your kids on your terms, in the magnificent way we know you can, and don't allow what others do (or say) to put a damper on your parenting fire.

Candice Smiley

Create THE Ripple